Friends and Fellow Parents (or Grandparents) of Teens and Soon-to-be
My book, Thirty Five Things Your Teens Wont Tell
You So I Will is available on Amazon
from Turner Publishing. I hope you will purchase it and read
it, in that order.
Its both a humor book and a how-to book. The how-to part
isnt preachy and condescending in part because Im
not a religious leader, psychologist or psychiatrist, in part
because thats not my style.
My experience comes from raising three close-in-age teens --
I had three kids in three years --(Yes, yikes!) and from having
represented children and teens in court for more than thirteen
Parenting teens can be highly stressful. If you are not prepared
when things go south fast (and they usually do go south fast),
you can feel incredibly small and phenomenally stupid. Which
is why, to succeed, you must come armed for the task from Day
One. And you should also know that once you suit up and sign
on, parenting teens can be fun and rewarding (some of the time.)
My book has thirty five easy-to-follow rules and a bunch of
dos and donts that sound funny. This is otherwise
known as strange but true.
In short, I sincerely hope that after reading this book, you
feel smart, and pumped even. I wish this book had been there
for me when my kids were tweens or maybe younger, even.
Just a tiny sampling of what I will tell you:
That you should not conduct your family like a democracy but
rather like a medieval fiefdom (only yours is, ideally, a more
hygienic one). You must consider yourself an Enlightened Despot
and your teens, serfs. This is not to say you should treat your
teens shabbily. Far from it. It is to say that you must lay
out what your expectations are if you are to avoid having your
kids steamroll you (which I describe as having sneaker treads
on your face, for want of a more graphic image.)
In my book, I use a lot a military imagery. I tell the reader
that raising teens is a lot like war but without the gore.
I tell you very specifically the kinds of facial expressions
and body stances you must develop to enable you to deal with
advancing hordes of teens or just even one teen (your own) trying
to get through (you and) your front door.
I also tell you to forget traditional ideas about good teens
and trust. And just so you know: when it comes to teens, its
not a question of whos bigger. Even if you are, they usually
move faster than you.
And, lastly, I can tell you what its like to find out
after the fact Jack that, despite extensive advance planning
on your part, to have your teens throw a party when you are
out of town. And I tell you how to deal with the aftermath.
Hint: its not pretty. And shouldnt be.
And more than a few times while reading my book, you may find
yourself laughing out loud. Its all true and its
all there for you.