Friends and Fellow Parents (or Grandparents) of Teens and Soon-to-be
My book, Thirty Five Things Your Teens Wont Tell You So
I Will is available on Amazon
from Turner Publishing. I hope you will purchase it and read it, in
Its both a humor book and a how-to book. The how-to part isnt
preachy and condescending in part because Im not a religious leader,
psychologist or psychiatrist, in part because thats not my style.
My experience comes from raising three close-in-age teens -- I had three
kids in three years --(Yes, yikes!) and from having represented children
and teens in court for more than thirteen years.
Parenting teens can be highly stressful. If you are not prepared when
things go south fast (and they usually do go south fast), you can feel
incredibly small and phenomenally stupid. Which is why, to succeed,
you must come armed for the task from Day One. And you should also know
that once you suit up and sign on, parenting teens can be fun and rewarding
(some of the time.)
My book has thirty five easy-to-follow rules and a bunch of dos
and donts that sound funny. This is otherwise known as strange
In short, I sincerely hope that after reading this book, you feel smart,
and pumped even. I wish this book had been there for me when my kids
were tweens or maybe younger, even.
Just a tiny sampling of what I will tell you:
That you should not conduct your family like a democracy but rather
like a medieval fiefdom (only yours is, ideally, a more hygienic one).
You must consider yourself an Enlightened Despot and your teens, serfs.
This is not to say you should treat your teens shabbily. Far from it.
It is to say that you must lay out what your expectations are if you
are to avoid having your kids steamroll you (which I describe as having
sneaker treads on your face, for want of a more graphic image.)
In my book, I use a lot a military imagery. I tell the reader that raising
teens is a lot like war but without the gore.
I tell you very specifically the kinds of facial expressions and body
stances you must develop to enable you to deal with advancing hordes
of teens or just even one teen (your own) trying to get through (you
and) your front door.
I also tell you to forget traditional ideas about good teens and trust.
And just so you know: when it comes to teens, its not a question
of whos bigger. Even if you are, they usually move faster than
And, lastly, I can tell you what its like to find out after the
fact Jack that, despite extensive advance planning on your part, to
have your teens throw a party when you are out of town. And I tell you
how to deal with the aftermath. Hint: its not pretty. And shouldnt
And more than a few times while reading my book, you may find yourself
laughing out loud. Its all true and its all there for you.
Cheers and enjoy the ride.
Ellen Pober Rittberg